Fuck bees

Apparently a link has been discovered between cellular phone usage and the deaths of massive swarms of bees. Cartoon bears everywhere are bummed about your pink RAZR that you spent 3 hours gluing rhinestones to only to have it turn out like crap, sending you into a downward spiral of cell-phone pimping apathy that you cite as an excuse to why its remained in its current state of freakish disrepair (much like the bill you are still 4 months behind on because you got locked into a shitty contract with fine print that you were too lazy to read and the thought of your phone looking so awesome with only one trip to the craft store distracted you from the details). These bears, however, still stack mad piles of paper (toilet that is, Charmin specifically) so they've still got some floss on.

I'm sorry, but i fucking hate bees. They are the worst...they are aggressive and make it nearly impossible to enjoy a package of fruit-snacks on a hot summer day (actual experience). And although i may never have been stung by one (mostly because they incite irrational levels of fear, thus leading to unimaginable levels of speed while running from them) i know what they're capable of. I've watched my brother sprinting barefoot home across the lawn as a child because dad was home with the corn flakes. He stepped on a bee, was stung on the foot, and dropped like a sack of potatoes.

That changed me.

Theres a reason why the fiercest troupe in the history of hip hop refer to themselves as the 'killer bees'. Its because bees are irrevocably fierce...in a WU TANG sort of way. I'm serious...the next time you stick out your tongue with anticipation of it making contact with that god damned astro-pop you just paid a ridiculous 3$ for at the beach this summer, and a bee crawls out from round it unnoticed (because you're too busy drinking warm beer with extra sand on the top and ogling women who aren't necessarily out of your league, but that you would never be able to find the courage or social capacity to talk to anyways because they are all wearing bathing suits and looking sharp in their large sunglasses and angular hostess haircuts) it will jam its sharp and mild-venom covered stinger right into it, not unlike method man's rusty screwdriver, BLAOWW!!

Point is...when i get paid i'm going to put some time on my phone and use it a bit.

I like texting but i hate using acronyms and short forms...i always bang that fucker out...so me sending one message appears as though im one of those people who go out to a party or a bar and just stand there hacking away having entire life-affirming conversations with friends.

what the fuck? i am currently laughing out loud and having a barbecue.

Parentheses' are a poor excuse for run-on sentences and unnecessary commentary (this side-note left blank...ed).

p.